When School Stress Disrupts More Than the Morning: Support for Parents and Caregivers Balancing Careers and Family
You’re trying to get out the door—off to work, an appointment, the usual rush—and suddenly, everything stops. Your child or teen refuses to go to school.
You try everything from remaining calm, you empathise, you negotiate … but nothing seems to work. It’s stressful and it can make you lose your cool. The whole household feels it.
What is going on? Why is my child feeling this way?
I hate watching my child struggle like this! I have no idea where to start or how to help them.
Whilst a day here and a day there of your child or teen not going to school can be manageable – when it becomes a regular occurrence – the impact can ripple through everything. Your job performance, your mental & physical health and your relationship with your partner and your family.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
School Can’t
Kids in emotional stress that can’t face being in the classroom
Common Reasons:
Social issues with peers
Sensory overwhelm
Trauma history
Bullying
Sickness
Loneliness
Executive functioning difficulties (ADHD, autism)
Separation anxiety / feeling disconnected from parents
Overwhelm or low confidence
Inability to adapt to change
Family stress affecting ability to focus at school
The Impact on Parent/Caregiver Mental Health and Relationships
Prolonged School Can’t can lead to:
Heightened anxiety or stress leading to
Insomnia
Fatigue
Substance abuse
Change in eating habits
Mood changes / irritability / depression
Brain fog
Negative thinking
Difficulty concentrating at work
Feelings of isolation or failure
Conflict with partners or co-parents
· Everyone is walking on eggshells with the increased tension
The Toll on Careers, Commitments, and Time
Having to find last minute alternative care
Taking time off work and falling behind in workload
Rescheduling appointments and errands
Putting your own self-care on the back burner
Financial strain from unpaid leave or reduced hours
Regular calls and meetings with the school
Many parents and caregivers share the belief, "I should be able to handle this," but the truth is, parenting through School Can’t is complex. You're doing the best you can.
How Counselling Can Help Families
Clarity — Understand what your child might be feeling but struggling to say. Learn why school feels impossible to them and why your own reactions are valid but exhausting.
Communication Tools — Learn how to talk to each other in ways that reduce conflict, rebuild trust, and bring emotional safety back into your home.
Emotional Regulation Strategies — Get support to stay calm and grounded, even during tough mornings. Learn how your nervous system and your child’s can influence each other — and how to break the cycle.
Support and Guidance — You don’t have to figure this out alone. Counselling helps you explore what’s next — from school options to coping plans — with professional support.
Connection — Rebuild the bond with your child, and reconnect with your partner or support network in a way that feels less strained and more sustainable.
It’s a safe space just for you to vent and be heard without judgment, and to explore solutions that feel manageable and realistic.
You might want to check out our Free Resource – School Can’t: Checklist for Parents & Caregivers – to help you decide when to seek further support.
Additional Resources - School Can’t
1. Head Space
https://headspace.org.au/explore-topics/supporting-a-young-person/school-cant/
Understanding School Can’t
2. School Can’t Australia
Australia’s largest national parent/carer peer support community for school attendance difficulties.
3. ABC – Four Corners
The Children Refusing to Go to School
Support That Understands what you are going through
At Chat It Out Counselling and Wellness, we understand the strain school stress places on families. We offer support based on your wants and needs, offering a space for clarity, relief, and practical next steps.
If your child is struggling to attend school, and it's affecting your ability to function at home or at work, you're not alone. Support is available for you, too. Reach out for a confidential conversation and take the first step toward a supported path forward.
